


The Barbara Walters Interviews

by startraveller776



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/M, Humor, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startraveller776/pseuds/startraveller776
Summary: Famous television journalist Barbara Walters interviews HRM Jareth, King of the Goblins. Sarah Williams demands  chance for rebuttal.





	1. Jareth, King of the Goblins: A Barbara Walters Exclusive

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of an old fic. In fact, this was the first fic I wrote for this fandom.

_The scene opens in an opulent hotel room with Barbara Walters and HRM Jareth sitting across from each other in large, cushy chairs. Barbara is dress in a light-colored suit. Jareth is bedecked in his usual garish, glittery attire down to the tight pants, knee-high boots and leather gloves._

_The camera cuts to Barbara._

**Walters:** Good evening, I'm Barbara Walters, and tonight I have a very special guest who has come out of obscurity in order to, as he says, set the record straight.

_ The camera pulls back until both Barbara and Jareth are in the shot. _

**Walters:** I'm with King Jareth, ruler of the Goblins, Keeper of the Labyrinth, Weaver of Dreams, Granter of Wishes, Steward of the Lost Children, and Heir to the Throne of the Underground. (_turns toward Jareth_) Did I get all of your titles right?

**Jareth:** _(nods)_ You did. I have also been called the Great Seducer, but that's more of an honorary title.

**Walters:** Thank you for agreeing to this interview.

**Jareth:** _(grins)_ Your wish was my command.

_ Jareth conjures a crystal and begins playing with it idly as he drapes himself over his chair. _

**Walters:** Some have called you a wizard, a sorcerer, a fairy, or an elven lord. A few have even speculated that you are the devil himself. Are you any of those, your majesty?

**Jareth:** The devil himself? (_throws back his head and laughs_) I can assure you that I am not Satan or Lucifer, or whatever it is you mortals call him, though I am flattered by the inference. As to the others… (_scornful expression_) I am none of those.

**Walters:** Then what are you?

**Jareth:** (_sits up taller_) I am a Fae—more precisely a Sidhe, and one of the most powerful of my kind. I am second only to my father.

**Walters:** Would you care to explain further?

**Jareth:** The intricacies of the Faerie are too complicated for your mortal understanding. You need only know that I am a magical being, and not one to be trifled with.

**Walters:** I see. Then we'll move on to the next question. Is there a reason why you wear gloves all the time?

**Jareth:** You must understand that I rule over a kingdom of goblins. They can be quite disgusting at times, though I do adore the little creatures against my better judgment.

**Walters:** You wear them for hygienic purposes then?

**Jareth:** They do complete my clothing ensemble quite nicely, wouldn't you agree?

**Walters:** _(smiles)_ I won't argue with you there. Speaking of clothing, I have to ask about the pants.

**Jareth:** (_knowing grin_) What of them?

**Walters:** You have to admit that they're…tight.

**Jareth:** _(leer)_ They are indeed.

**Walters:** On purpose, then?

**Jareth:** I never do anything unintentionally, Barbara. And before you ask, I have no need to…_enhance_…anything.

_ There is a brief silence as Barbara and the viewers process this. _

**Walters:** And your hair?

**Jareth:** (_tight face_) Next question.

**Walters:** I was only—

**Jareth:** (_clenched teeth_) We do not discuss my hair. Change the subject or I shall toss you into the Bog of Eternal Stench.

**Walters:** (_taken aback_) I apologize. Let's move onto the glitter. Is that a byproduct of your magic, or part of your personal flare?

**Jareth:** (_calm once more_) I don't remember.

**Walters:** _(blinks)_ You don't remember?

**Jareth:** (_absent wave of the hand_) I've existed for eons. I cannot recall if my magic has always left this particular residue, or if it was something that suited my fancy in my younger centuries and has now become a part of my modus operandi.

**Walters:** What is it like to be immortal?

**Jareth:** Since I have always been this way, I have no basis for comparison. I am not, however, truly eternal. I will die one day, but it will be countless eons more before I am ready to sail across the great divide.

**Walters:** Let's talk about your family now, if we could.

**Jareth:** (_small shrug_) If it pleases you.

**Walters:** Your parents are King Oberon and Queen Titania, correct?

**Jareth:** They are.

**Walters:** Are they the same Oberon and Titania that appear in William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer's Night Dream"?

**Jareth: **Perhaps. I've never asked.

**Walters:** Do you have any brothers or sisters?

**Jareth:** More than you know.

**Walters:** One of your titles is Heir to the Throne of the Underground. Does that mean that you're the firstborn?

**Jareth:** (_dances the crystal ball between his hands, leaning back again_) That is a question with a rather obvious answer, Barbara.

**Walters:** _(smiles)_ Of course. Is there a Queen of the Goblins? And do you have children of your own?

**Jareth:** (_for a second, looks as if he caught a whiff of the Bog of Eternal Stench_) There is a queen, but she has yet to take the title. I do not believe any of my past…_encounters_…with women have led to offspring, though I can never know for certain. Only my consort will give me a true heir, however.

**Walters:** There have been rumors that you have a certain affection—for lack of a better word—for a mortal woman: the children's author, Sarah Williams, whose series "The Goblin Chronicles" has topped the best seller list for more than five years.

**Jareth:** (_feral grin_) Sarah is no ordinary mortal woman.

**Walters:** Are any of her stories based in truth?

**Jareth:** (_stops the crystal and cocks his head_) Oh, I can assure you that the Labyrinth is not so tame as she portrays in her silly little tales.

**Walters:** So none of her books are true.

**Jareth:** _(smirks)_ I wouldn't say that. I do recall reading in the third book about a lovely dance between the heroine and the villain.

**Walters:** Are you the villain, then?

**Jareth:** At times I may appear to fill that role, but no, I am not. I only do what must be done regardless of some mortal's misguided perception of _fairness_. (_looks into the camera and winks_)

**Walters:** In the time that you've been the Keeper of the Labyrinth, is it true that there has been only one champion?

**Jareth:** _(scowls)_ Yes.

**Walters:** And that champion is Sarah Williams, correct?

**Jareth:** (_the crystal in his hand cracks and disappears in a shower of glitter_) She is.

**Walters:** How did she beat the Labyrinth?

**Jareth:** (_glowers for a moment, then regains his haughty composure_) Care to make an attempt yourself, Barbara? Do you have a wayward child you'd like to wish away to my realm? (_leans forward_) I'd even give you a head start.

**Walters:** (_placid smile_) I'm afraid that I'll have to pass, but it was gracious of you to offer.

**Jareth:** I can be generous, despite what some might believe. (_gives another brief, pointed look into the camera)_

**Walters:** Back to Sarah Williams, the only one to beat the Labyrinth—

**Jareth:** _(interrupting)_ The only _mortal_.

**Walters:** The only mortal to beat the Labyrinth, then. When we scheduled this interview, we asked if she would like to make a statement. (_holds a piece of paper_) Would you like to hear it?

**Jareth:** (_pretends to be nonchalant, but the tension in his body is obvious_) Why not?

**Walters:** _(reads)_ She says, "No one should ever trust a single word that falls from the lips of the Goblin King. He is self-centered, spoiled, and manipulative. Part of his life's work is to steal children, which should tell you exactly what kind of man he is. And I would like to remind His Majesty, once again, that he has no power over me." (_looks up_) Do you have a response?

**Jareth:** What a pity. (_waves toward the camera_) May I?

**Walters:** Of course.

**Jareth:** (_into the camera_) Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Must you wound me so? (_places hand against his chest in mock pain_) You know very well that I only take unwanted children—children who are deliberately wished away. I should think you'd remember that from your own experience. After all I have done for you, all I have given you, you would still disparage my character? I move the stars for no one, precious, but I moved them for you. _(grins)_ My offer still stands, beloved Sarah. (_turns back to Barbara_) Next question.

**Walters:** Is the title of Goblin Queen what you offer Miss Williams?

**Jareth:** Indeed. (_smile widens to reveal a mouthful of slightly pointed teeth_) Mark my words: Sarah Williams _will_ rule the Underground at my side. There has never been nor will never be any woman—mortal or otherwise—who can match me will for will. And it won't take Sarah long to discover that all other men are mere paltry shadows compared to me.

**Walters:** That's quite a declaration. How can you be so sure?

**Jareth:** _(smirks)_ I always get what I want.

**Walters:** But she says that you have no power over her.

**Jareth:** (_dismissive wave of his hand_) You speak as though that were some sort of obstacle. It is a challenge, no doubt, but one to which I am more than equal.

**Walters:** I want to bring up Toby Williams, if you don't mind.

**Jareth:** (_becomes somber_) What of the boy?

**Walters:** One can assume that when Miss Williams was a runner in your Labyrinth, she was attempting to win back a child she wished away—Toby. In the thirteen hours—

**Jareth:** Ten hours. Sarah wished to up the stakes, and I was compelled to oblige her.

**Walters:** In the ten hours that Miss Williams ran the Labyrinth, where was Toby?

**Jareth:** (_pulls out a lacy handkerchief and dabs his eyes_) And I did so hope to avoid an emotional display. To answer your question, the baby—little Jareth, as I preferred to call him—was in my care during that time.

**Walters:** May I ask why talking about this makes you cry?

**Jareth:** (_look of disdain_) I am not weeping. The Goblin King does not weep, not even when he offers his heart, soul, and kingdom to a cruel, young girl and she tosses it aside. I am merely feeling sentimental.

**Walters:** I apologize. Let me rephrase the question. Why does discussing Toby Williams make you feel emotional?

**Jareth:** He really was a delightful little chap. I quite enjoyed his company. (_pause, dabs eyes again_) And, of course, I've never had to send one of them back before. I was so certain that he would become one of us.

**Walters:** It's been said that you turn the "wished away" children, as you call them, into goblins. Is this true?

**Jareth:** (_throws back his head and guffaws for a minute before looking at Barbara again_) Yes I do. (_off Barbara's shocked expression_) But only those that are suited for goblin life. The others are adopted by the Faerie.

**Walters:** And Toby? What would his fate have been had Miss Williams not been able to conquer the Labyrinth?

**Jareth:** (_slow smile_) I would have raised him as my own son. (_dramatic sigh_) Ah, what might have been…

**Walters:** (_after a beat_) Well, that's all of our time. I'd like to thank you for giving us a little insight into the Goblin King.

**Jareth:** (_inclines head_) My pleasure.

**Walters:** Any final words for the viewers?

**Jareth:** (_turns to the camera_) Be careful what you wish for, little mortals, because what's said is said, and it cannot be taken back. (_wolfish grin_) And Sarah, my precious, I will see you soon.

_ Jareth disappears in a flash of white and glitter. The camera zooms in on Barbara who is dusting the shiny specks off her suit. _

**Walters:** And that was Jareth, King of the Goblins. Villain, trickster, love-struck Fae king, or fashion trend-setter? I'll let you decide. Thank you for joining us for this exclusive broadcast. Your local news is next. Goodnight.

_Cue music. Fade to black. Roll credits. _

* * *

Somewhere in the continental United States, Sarah Williams is throwing her remote at the television screen, screaming:

_ "JARETH!"_


	2. Sarah Williams: A Barbara Walters Live Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this, I was one of the GK Fans. So I was poking fun at myself.

_The setting is the same opulent hotel room that Barbara Walters interviewed HM Jareth in. Sarah Williams sits opposite the journalist, wearing a simple, but stylish, green dress. Her long, dark hair is off her shoulders in an upswept do. She wears only mascara and lip gloss, her natural beauty is radiant._

_ The broadcast, as always, begins with the camera on Barbara. _

**Walters:** Good evening, I'm Barbara Walters and tonight we have a very special broadcast for you. Last week, millions of viewers watched my exclusive interview with King Jareth, ruler over the Goblin kingdom. Tonight, we are joined by Sarah Williams, best-selling children's author and the Champion of the Labyrinth who says that there is a darker side to the Fae King that we don't know about. (_turns to Sarah_) Thank you for being with us.

_ The camera pans back to fit both women in the frame. _

**Sarah:** I'm glad to be here.

**Walters:** Miss Williams—

**Sarah:** Please call me Sarah.

**Walters:** _(smiles)_ Sarah, since King Jareth's interview aired, what has life been like for you?

**Sarah:** (_exasperated sigh_) I don't have a life any more. The paparazzi follow me everywhere—I can barely get out of my driveway most days. And I'm getting bags of mail each day, most of it from Jareth's harem telling me how lucky I am that the "great goblin king" even glances my way, let alone stalks me. Some of the letters are just plain mean, and others are explicit descriptions of what they would do to or for Jareth if they were in my shoes.

**Walters:** The king has a harem?

**Sarah:** Well, that's what they call themselves, anyway—(_makes air quotes_) the GK fans. I don't think that Jareth has an _actual_ harem of concubines, but I've never asked—nor do I care to know.

**Walters:** Sarah, let's go back to that night—the night when you first met the Goblin King. How old were you?

**Sarah:** I was fifteen.

**Walters:** What happened?

**Sarah:** A lot of what I wrote in the "Goblin Chronicles" is true. I was your typical self-centered teenager who thought her stepmother was out to get her. My parents had gone out for the evening, and my baby brother wouldn't stop crying. In frustration I said The Right Words, never believing for a second that anything would happen. I was just venting.

**Walters:** "The Right Words," as you call them, are they the same as those the heroine in your book says?

**Sarah:** (_shakes head_) No. I wouldn't tell anyone the true right words—not even on my death bead. I will not help Jareth steal more children.

**Walters:** You said the words, and what happened next?

**Sarah:** Well, all hell broke loose, to be frank. Toby disappeared, things started happening, I heard voices and then the window burst open. Suddenly, glitter was everywhere and there was this man in black with eye make-up and crazy hair smirking at me.

**Walters:** Were you frightened?

**Sarah:** I was terrified. I told him that I didn't really want my brother to disappear. I begged him to give me Toby back.

**Walters:** (_hands Sarah a box of tissues_) What did he say?

**Sarah:** He told me to go back to my room, to my toys, and forget about the baby. Then he threw a snake at me. (_dabs eyes_)

**Walters:** (_eyes widened_) He threw a snake at you?

**Sarah:** Yes. A snake. What kind of person steals a baby then throws a snake at the person begging to get the baby back? Definitely not the nice guy he tried to make himself out to be in your interview.

**Walters:** How did you end up in the Labyrinth?

**Sarah:** When I wouldn't give up, he told me if I could get to his castle, which is in the center of the Labyrinth, in thirteen hours I could have Toby back.

**Walters:** What was the Labyrinth like?

**Sarah:** That's the one thing that Jareth was honest about in his interview. The Labyrinth is far worse than I write about in the "Goblin Chronicles." It's ever changing, there are creatures there that will rip you apart, limb from limb, and other things that will lead you straight into an oubliette. And that's _without_ Jareth's interference. He totally cheats.

**Walters:** How did he cheat?

**Sarah:** After I escaped from the oubliette—which is basically a dark hole in the ground with no exits—he showed up and asked me how I liked his Labyrinth. When I didn't cower like he wanted me to, he took three hours off the clock then sent a death machine chasing after me. Later when I finally made it to the goblin city, he had his entire army attack me! (_pauses, grows quieter_) But that's not the worst of it.

**Walters:** He did something worse than sending an army to attack you?

**Sarah:** (_wipes eyes with tissue, still quiet_) I've never talked about this part before, but since his interview, I've been sick to my stomach. (_deep breath_) He—he drugged me, dressed me up and made me dance with him at some masquerade ball, to try to make me forget Toby.

**Walters:** And you were only fifteen?

**Sarah:** Yes. (_still weepy, but now angry_) In the mortal realm that would be cause to put him away for a very long time, wouldn't it? But no, because he's a Fae, drugging and seducing a fifteen year old girl is considered romantic.

**Walters:** He seduced you?

**Sarah:** Thank goodness I snapped out of it before anything other than dancing could happen. _(shudders)_ At the end, when I reached the castle, do you know what he did?

**Walters:** What did he do?

**Sarah:** Aside from hiding Toby in another puzzle—that was terrifying; I thought I'd lose my brother forever—Jareth begged me to love him, and told me that he would be my slave. In my books, I only wrote that he offers the heroine her dreams, because what really happened was so disgustingly inappropriate. Whenever he looked at me, I always felt like I was some kind of delicacy he was about to devour. It was worse when he was dancing with me and singing to me.

**Walters:** He sang to you?

**Sarah:** Yes, while we were dancing, and though I don't remember most of the words, the song was definitely romantic in nature. He also sang to me when I was trying to find Toby in that final puzzle. Again, the type of song you sing to a girl you want to _be with_, if you know what I mean.

**Walters:** Wow.

**Sarah:** I know. His behavior with me was nearly pedophilic. Makes me wonder what he really does with the kids he takes.

_ Suddenly the power goes out. Across the nation, the message: "We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by" blinks onto television screens. _

_ In the studio: _

**Sarah:** _(stands)_ JARETH! You spoiled, whiny brat stuck in a Fae king's body! Show yourself!

**Jareth:** (_disembodied voice_) As you wish, my precious thing.

_ There is a flash of glitter and the Goblin King appears, resplendent in a deep blue, bejeweled waistcoat over a lacy shirt. He is wearing his trademark tight pants, knee-high boots and leather gloves—this time tan instead of black. _

_ The lights come back on, and the broadcast continues once more. At Barbara's motion, the sound crew scrambles to get a portable microphone on Jareth. _

**Walters:** (_into the camera_) We apologize for interruption in our broadcast, but we are back—now joined by the Goblin King, himself.

_ Jareth is still standing and steps toward Sarah who has taken her seat again. _

**Sarah:** Don't even think about it, buddy.

_ Jareth heaves a dramatic sigh then flicks his wrist. A chair appears next to Sarah's, and he drapes himself over it, leaning toward Sarah. _

**Walters:** (_turns to Jareth_) King Jareth, your presence is a surprise.

**Jareth:** (_flat expression_) Oh, is it? You expected me to sit idly by as my beloved so thoroughly besmirches my character?

**Sarah:** I've said nothing but the truth.

**Jareth:** (_raise brows, turns to Sarah and smirks_) Is that so?

**Sarah:** (_to Barbara_) See? That's the look I was talking about.

**Jareth:** (_clucks his tongue_) My dear, sweet Sarah, you should know that "desire" means many things, and not all of them have to do with wants of the flesh. And here I was led to believe you were a now a wordsmith.

**Sarah:** _(snorts)_ So you're saying that when you stared at me, you weren't undressing me with your eyes.

**Jareth:** When you were fifteen? No, I was not. But now… (_smirk turns into full-blown leer_)

**Sarah:** Stop it!

**Walters:** _(interjecting)_ So, King Jareth, we can assume that you were watching Sarah's interview. Do you want to respond to what she has shared thus far?

_ Jareth turns his head toward Barbara, though his eyes linger on Sarah a moment longer. _

**Jareth:** There are several inaccuracies in her version of events. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Mortal memory can be quite faulty.

**Sarah:** (_crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at Jareth)_ Really, now. What did I get wrong?

**Jareth:** I scarce know where to begin, my love.

**Sarah:** Quit calling me that. I don't belong to you.

**Jareth:** But I belong to you. The love of a Fae cannot be so easily brushed aside, Sarah.

_ Sarah groans and covers her face with her hands. Jareth laughs. _

**Walters:** King Jareth, getting back to your response, what part of Sarah's account do you believe to be inaccurate?

**Jareth:** You know, I've never really cared what you mortals think of me. Your lives are so brief that to you my existence becomes nothing more than a ghost of a legend.

**Sarah:** Then why bother interrupting my interview if you don't give a rat's—

**Jareth:** (_presses a gloved finger against Sarah's lips_) Shh, precious. Foul language is unbecoming of a lady, especially one who spins tales for children.

**Sarah:** (_furious, through gritted teeth_) Don't. Ever. Touch. Me. Again. 

**Jareth:** _(laughs)_ Such spirit!

**Walters:** (_under breath_) I should have never agreed to a live broadcast. (_to Jareth_) Do you mind answering Sarah's question?

**Jareth:** I'll gladly answer any question that my Sarah has.

**Sarah:** Yeah, right.

**Jareth:** Your faith in me is overwhelming.

**Walters:** (_trying to contain her frustration_) Why did you join us if you don't care what others think of you?

**Jareth:** I care very much what my future queen thinks of me. Such gross misconceptions of my behavior cannot be allowed to fester in that beautiful head of hers.

**Sarah:** You could have just waited until after the interview to speak with me.

**Jareth:** Oh, but you invited me, don't you recall?

**Sarah:** (_angry, shocked expression_) You turned off the power!

**Jareth:** _(smirk)_ Did I?

**Walters:** _(interrupting)_ What misconceptions would you like to clear up, your majesty?

**Jareth:** (_disgusted expression_) The most glaring oversight is Sarah's implication that my motives toward children are so…_vile_. This idea of harming innocents in such a vulgar manner is from your realm. A Fae would never dream of it.

**Sarah:** What about me, huh? I was still a child and you wanted me to be your wife!

**Jareth:** Wasn't it mere centuries ago in the mortal realm that fifteen was considered adulthood?

**Sarah:** They're called the Dark Ages for a reason, Jareth. We've figured out that a fifteen year old is still very much a child.

**Jareth:** As the Faerie have known for eons. You form conclusions without the facts, Precious. Who's being unfair now?

**Sarah:** (_holds up a finger_) Fact: You fell in love with me when I was fifteen years old. (_holds up another finger_) Fact: The first time you asked me to be your wife was when I was _fifteen_. And now you say that even your own people define fifteen as childhood? Explain how you're not a pervy creep!

**Jareth:** (_dramatic sigh_) Oh mortals. You get a little education and you're certain you know everything. You seem to have forgotten, beloved, that love grows in stages. When you were fifteen, you amused me, nothing more, and I gave you certain powers to see what you would do with them. To my delight, you called on me.

**Sarah:** I didn't mean to and you know it.

**Jareth:** You keep saying that, but you forget that I have seen your dreams. (_leans closer_) With every fiber of your being, you wanted to be rescued from the ordinary life that was stifling you, and you wanted me to do the rescuing. I did. I can believe that you didn't intend for your brother to become involved, but you lie to yourself when you say you didn't mean to invite me into your life, precious.

**Sarah:** Go away!

**Jareth:** What's done is done, Sarah. You beckoned me here, and here I will remain until this interview is over.

**Sarah:** You are the most frustrating, awful—

**Jareth:** (_turns to Barbara_) What other questions do you have for us?

**Walters:** _(blinks)_ Other questions? (_composes herself_) Of course. Why don't we address Sarah's second "fact" that you proposed marriage to her when she was fifteen?

**Jareth:** Another misconception. I offered Sarah her dreams, her deepest wishes. Can I be blamed when becoming my queen was her secret desire?

**Sarah:** WHAT? That's not true!

**Jareth:** (_smiles at Sarah_) Life will become easier when you stop denying what's in your heart, Sarah.

**Sarah:** I'm not the deluded one, Jareth!

**Jareth:** Think, did I ever propose that night? Did the words "will you marry me" or "be my queen" fall from my lips? No, and yet, that's what you remember. It is your own desires that color your recollection of our time together.

**Sarah:** That's… (_sputters, turns red_)

**Walters:** But you did say, in your earlier interview, that had Sarah not conquered the Labyrinth you would have taken her as your queen consort.

**Jareth:** Yes, that is true. But I did not say that I would do so immediately.

**Sarah:** Oh, really. You wouldn't have married me right away? I doubt that.

**Jareth:** No, I wouldn't have. You have spirit, my precious thing, and you are so very clever, but you know nothing of life among the Faerie. I would have sent you to live with my sisters to learn, to mature. _(leer)_ Then, when you were ready, you would have been mine.

**Sarah:** (_gapes, then snaps her mouth shut_) It's a moot point, anyway. I beat you, and I will never, ever be your queen consort.

**Jareth:** (_raises hand to caress her face but stops short_) I find your stubborn denial to be quite endearing. (_to Barbara_) Shall we move on? I'd very much like to address the baseless accusation that I cheat when I have a runner in the Labyrinth.

**Walters:** So, you don't cheat, then?

**Sarah:** Yes, he does.

**Jareth:** (_pointed look to Sarah_) Barbara asked me the question, my dear. If you would kindly keep your comments to yourself until I've answered. (_turns back to Barbara_) As the Keeper of the Labyrinth, it is my duty to prevent a runner from succeeding. Most of the time, the Labyrinth itself is a sufficient deterrent, and I will admit that many who wish away children choose not to run at all. However, when a runner has some success, I am compelled to intervene.

**Walters:** It's part of your job description, so to speak?

**Jareth:** You could say that. The rules for the game are bound by the ancient magic that created the Labyrinth in the first place, and I am bound to the Labyrinth.

**Sarah:** You drugged me, Jareth!

**Jareth:** _(shrug)_ Without much success, unfortunately.

**Sarah:** You drugged me and made me dance with you!

**Jareth:** _(smirk)_ My dear, sweet Sarah, the peach you ate merely revealed to you your dreams. You saw what you wanted most. While you were dancing the hours away in your sleep, I was playing with little Jareth in my castle.

**Walters:** You mean Toby.

**Jareth:** At the time, he was little Jareth. _(pause)_ On the subject of cheating, I should mention I was far more generous to Sarah than I have been to other runners.

**Sarah:** (_makes a derisive sound_) Really? Are you going to say that you were generous by taking my brother away? That you reordered time—to my disadvantage? That you were frightening so I could cower? That you turned the world upside down to put me through hell? You're going to keep defining that as generous?

**Jareth:** Sarah, I gave you the fantasy that you desired—every detail.

**Sarah:** Oh, so I _wanted_ all of that?

**Jareth:** Very much so, Precious. You wanted to be a part of a magical world. You wanted to be a heroine, but you needed a villain to challenge you. I was all that you wanted and more. But this is not the generosity of which I speak.

**Sarah:** Please. What else could you have done?

**Jareth: **Why Sarah, I let _you_ cheat.

**Sarah:** You…what? How did I cheat?

**Jareth:** _(grin)_ I allowed your little friends to help you.

**Sarah:** You threatened dip Hoggle in the Bog of Eternal Stench if he didn't lead me back to the beginning. You made him give me the peach!

**Jareth:** Ah, but he didn't lead you back to the beginning, did he? And he was quite reluctant to give you that peach. (_leans even closer to her_) I'm not as wicked as you thought, am I, love?

**Sarah:** (_tight hiss_) I despise you.

**Jareth:** Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. My willful, stubborn Sarah. Sometimes hate and love are not so far apart. Do you ever grow weary of this battle?

**Sarah:** You have no power over me, Jareth.

**Jareth:** _(soft laugh)_ If that were true, you never would have given me a second thought after you defeated my Labyrinth.

**Sarah:** (_stands up_) I am not having this conversation with you on national television!

**Jareth:** (_stands as well_) Agreed. We shall find a better venue for this discussion. Your place, perhaps?

_ Before Sarah can protest, Jareth grabs her hand, pulls her to him, and they disappear in a shower of glitter. Barbara stares on in stunned silence for a moment. _

**Walters:** (_almost to herself_) Well, we now know why he's been called the Great Seducer. (_shakes herself and remembers she's still on air_) This has been a very interesting evening. I'd like to thank our guests for sharing their time, and you, our viewers, for watching. Have a good night.

_Cue music. Fade to black. Roll credits_.

_ In the studio: _

**Walters:** (_to her assistant_) Cancel my interview with Puck. If I never see another Fae again it will be too soon.

**~FIN~**


End file.
